Don’t CRI – Part 1


“Usually I creep into the poor guys neck first and he calls me the pain in the neck.

How superficial? I think when he speaks to friends like that.

He usually helps me by working more and caring less about the problems I cause, for God has not given him time, he says. (I tend to agree with him, it must be God’s will, for how else can God create me without offering me a means of survival.)

The humans have not yet recognized me. But let it be. It is said that they want to find only viruses and bacteria or now a days genes. (Yes of course, hats off to our great new age leaders like HIV and our old and awe-inspiring fighter, in fact our role model when young, the TB) How funny?

Ya ya, It is said that I am the offspring of many years of constant prayer by our race, the Diseases, to beat the man at their own game. This is our time. When we beat them at their technology or through their technology? Their Computers? The blasted things, which are helping them to think and work against us. Now you see why I am a hero. I beat them in their own game.

You know how long I had to lie dormant? There was great hope around 200 years before when they started their so-called industries (We, the elite of the Diseases, call it our restaurants and Resorts). But soon somebody found us out and reported. They made life so difficult to us by working in proper conditions and soon you see we are available in good fertile countries like India only.

Ya, you want to know how I do it? It is my secret. Still for somebody like you I shall open my mind. Computers are my vectors. You know vectors. Like my uncle the Malaria and cousin Dengue, they use mosquitoes as vectors & I use computers. Yes, you see I use them to pass me on and I seep into anybody looking at the computers.

No they can’t find me. No microscope can do it. As long as they don’t look into themselves I am fine. You see. I am they and they are me. Does it not sound like “Aham Brahmasmi”.

See him. That guy over the corner. He is the best fodder for me around. See how keenly he is looking into the computers. How important he thinks his work is or rather he is. How much he wants to be the performer. (Growls) Ya, I will show him in just 365 days. If he is cooperating that is. I can make him sit back at home looking at the sky with enough drugs from a shrink to help him out of his depression because of his lost job. You Bet.

NO NO, not the neck alone. I get in through where I like. Neck, wrists, head, eyes, ears, low back, legs. You name it I can get in through there.

Yaaaa, I also help my old folks who are my relatives like Diabetes, Blood Pressure, Heart problems. But you see many a times we work together. Then it is great fun. We make the guy run around different specialists and really we go touring. In these tours we also meet different preys (read humans) who are suitable for any one of us. You see, on one such travel I really fell in love with a beautiful secretary of a doctor instantly. It is a shame in our community to fall in love with one of our preys. But I could not help it. She had beautiful eyes and long hair and most important she had my dearest friend the computer in front of her. She was but short and had high heels and a most uncomfortable chair. I must really thank the good doctor for being so mean. I immediately started working and worked up from her hip. No, No, not lured by her hip hugging dress of course but by her way of sitting in front of the computer which made it very suitable for me (A suitable woman, she is). Now she regularly takes me to the orthopedician and gynecologist and she is worried about why she is not getting pregnant. Ya, in a way, I also help in bringing down the population of these human creatures.

Probably. Even if I am in love with her I cannot forget the duty to my race.

No my life is not confined to computer professionals alone. Really I was named RSI (Repetitive Strain Injuries) and I can live in many groups of people who work in improper working conditions for long periods or maintain improper positions and postures or out of size instruments or gadgets or furniture. Infact I thrive in all of them. You can find my divine (his words) presence in as I said Office Secretaries to CEOs. From Bank employees to Accountants in local grocery stores. I am everywhere. But people working on Computers are my all time favorites. And then some humans started calling me CRI. (Computer Related Injuries). I liked it. It was cool. I felt it sounded like what I was doing to my preys. Making them CRY. You noticed the similarity. CRI. CRY. CRY CRI. Fry. Fried CRIs. Crying CRIs. Fried Crying CRIs. (The fellow got hysterical at this stage and continued for long with his gibberish and the author had to offer him a piece of his own neck to nibble before he calmed down. The mentioning of his strange ornaments also brought him back to a state of normalcy)

These? Do you like them? Ya, I shall tell you in brief about my signs and symptoms which are my ornaments. Carpel Tunnel Syndrome? You have heard about it in connection with me? But in fact CTS is only a small and dangerous percentage of typing injuries which I cause. Tendinitis, Bursitis, Tenosynovitis, DeQuervain’s Syndrome , Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, Trigger Finger/Thumb , Myofascial Pain Syndrome, Cubital Tunnel Syndrome and several others are also there in my treasure box. All of these are serious and in advanced cases can cause great pain and permanent disability……………………………………”

(The above was a piece of dialogue by Mr CRI (alias RSI) who the author has met on several occasions when he paid a visit at the authors clinic with several of his clients)

Life , Health , Happiness, Comfort and all the works of God ………so beautiful. It is a mystery how the Computer Professionals of our times, the news kings and queens of the world forget that a there is a life beyond the depth of the internet or the life in the computer.

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Author: Piyawut Sutthiruk

Losing weight will keep you healthy and have a long life. Cheer Up!

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